Keeping them entertained

Today I got asked how I keep the girls entertained. I laughed at the idea of keeping them entertained. They entertain themselves I answered. The lady looked confused. I said "they have their own lives, some read, some write, some love playing video games others like being on the computer, but as far as their entertainment, I am not in charge."

My kids have different personalities and so that gives them different likes and dislikes. I use to plan every minute of their lives, I would run myself ragged with play dates and after school activities. Then one summer I just stopped. I said I love you kids but for my own sanity I have to stop this, and I did. I remember the first season of no sports. I finally had my weekends back! The kids learned how to discover each other as playmates, they had time to enjoy books from the our home library.

 Yes I still plan outings and activities for my kids, some of them are organized sports and others are just me saying hey, lets go to the beach. But all in all whether they are entertained or not, that is up to them.

Vow of Silence

From when my kids go to school, 8am, to when they come home, after 3pm, I do not talk to anyone. The phone does not ring, no one comes by, I have no other children in the home. I feel as if I take a vow of silence for the morning and part of the afternoon. I hear myself say words but there is no proof that I am saying them aloud (almost like when the kids are home). I think I just speak in my head. I watch TV but am weary of yelling at the characters for fear of making them my friends.

Power Washing

The college I go to power washes the sidewalk every night. I use to criticize this as a waste of water and time for the crew who does this. The flowers are also get changed on a weekly basis so that they always look fresh. I would criticize it and how the school only cared about appearances.

Today I got food at a fast food restaurant. I decided to walk across the street to get a drink from another restaurant. As I was crossing the street I noticed all the black marks on the ground that obviously came from gum or other food. I looked around and noticed the smell. It wasn't nice. I started to get down on where I live. I feel like no one cares about how it looks. There was water in edge of the street and it was gross. It smelled and looked like it picked up every type of sludge.

I appreciate the beauty of the campus I attend. There is a sense of pride as I step foot on campus. I understand now why they keep it clean I wish my city would take the same pride.

How do you Parent

My daughter right now is going through a time in her life where I think that she has allowed bad influences to enter her life. I do not like her friends or the people she calls friends, I do not like her actions. She describes all these things as who she is. (I remember this argument with my parents). So I thought that cutting her off from her friends from school would bring her back. I pushed church friends and particularly the only girl she is friends with. Now I find out that this friend is actually accepting of her behavior. And I also found out that this girl is mean and rude to another one of my kids. Now I have discontent for this girl.

I"ve realized that I cannot control the situation and ultimately my daughter will have to make the choices but I need to know how to make it the ideal situation for her to choose the right. I blame myself for not putting her in the ultimate environment. I blame myself for teaching her how open we are with people. How we don't condemn the person just the act. Had I perhaps been more strict of my condemnation of certain behaviors then she would not be in the situation she is now.

what to do, what to do

First full day of not having an obligation. No grocery shopping no school, no meeting. Just a day to lay around and contemplate life... HA ha ha, as if. Well today I will get to all those things I've ben putting off. I want to Finish the final touches of cleaning my room, I want to mop the floor, I want to clean the back yard. Too much to just lay back and do nothing.

I feel obligated to do these things. If I don't I feel like I have wasted my day and time. I have this over whelming guilt about being the perfect homemaker. I know that I am far from it. But I feel guilty when i don't cook or when the house is a mess. At the same time i feel very accomplished when I have dinner ready and the house smells of cleaning product. And I expect everyone else to notice and say "Ahh mom the house looks beautiful. I know how you slave over it and I want to say thank you"

And now the child says to me "I feel sick" I say go to school, she says "but I don't feel well. "
NO! I am not going to ruin my first day of nothing by having to play maid to a kid! She starts to cry not because she is ill but because I did not give her the response she wanted. UGH!

There wil be a point when all the guilt will go away. When I am no longer responsible for their choices. But for now I will continue the madness.