family

Some time ago my sister had a blog and she would at times comment about her inlaws. One day they asked for her blog address so they could follow the kids lives while they would be away for 2 years on their mission. My sister had to erase some posts that did not show them in a positive light. I wonder if my family found out about this blog, how many posts would I have to erase? Or should I be proud of the way I feel and continue to make comments regardless of how it makes them feel?

well perhaps this why I do not tell them about it. why I keep it under wraps so that I can have the freedom to express myself without having to censor myself.

TEXAS

Texas is a very laid back state in comparison to California and appreciate that. Here at my parents home I have decided that I don't want to have plans. I am catching up my rest from the lat 2 weeks of traveling. I enjoy being at my parents home because I feel at home. I lie around the house and I don't feel guilty with everything going on in my life its what I need. This afternoon we are taking a trip to the beach. It will be fun. I always enjoy watching the girls play at the beach.
I don't feel rested yet because so mush is still weighing on me but today I feel like I can handle it.

I am tired

With everything going on in my life at the moment, I am tired. Don't know if I'm looking forward to going back home. A little getting back into routine and sometimes thats good or bad. get my house in order is my motto I guess. It;s going to be hard to clean shelly's room. Yes my dog actually had a room. She had a couch she could sit on and toys and basically it was her space so people would not bother her. going home is going to be different. I feel like so much has changed.
I feel like i have changed and I don't want to. I want to be what I was about a year ago. Being truly happy has been so long ago that I've almost forgotten. I know I have been, and I know that its great but looking at where I am right now its so hard to see that happiness be a reality for me

Last night

So this is my last night In north carolina. It was fun. The kids spent time with their family and I got to spend time with a High School friend of mine. I will continue my journey to houston tomorrow. I feel like the trip will now be a down hill battle. I can now think about how it feels to sleep in a room without children. How my bed is so comfortable, how I like being able to go into my fridge and grab whatever. I want to be able to walk around my room in my underwear!!!! I miss this the most out of all the things I miss. I also miss getting rid of the kids. Tonight i got to experience a little of that. went to see my friend while the kids stayed with their grandma and grandpa, but I miss being able to say go outside and play and leave me alone. I like being able to close myself in my room every now and then.
I MISS HOME!!!!!