While on our trip across the nation this past summer we reached many desolate places. After the children got tired of playing video games or watching movies they decided to stare out onto the road. Since there weren't many cars on the road we couldn't play any of those "fun" car trip games like spot the different states or color cars. I started to notice that there were quite a number of road kill that we did spot so I decided to make it into a game, The Dead Animal Game. Now the basic rules are whoever calls the dead animal first wins. It has to bigger than a bug and my car cannot be the one to have killed it. I know some of you are just thinking how cruel can this mommy be but it is the only game that my kids still are interested in playing.
I have all girls so I really don't understand how these girls actually tolerate this game, but they like it so I'm not complaining. I kept winning cause while they would look for rodents and birds I was seeing the huge deer I kept having to swerve around.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Best with what we've got
I know in the past 15 years as a mother I have criticized other parents. Maybe perhaps not to their face or out-loud, but I know I have looked at their children and wondered where did the parent go wrong. I have criticized everything from the children's clothes,baby food they have chosen to feed them all the way to the attitude they display as young adults. My thoughts have always been, the parents have not taught the child responsibility, they have ignored manners, if the parents would.... then the kid would not... I have looked at other parenting and said, I will never do that or what a bad mother.
I have heard things on the news about children abducted and even if I on't think it there is always some commentary about well the parents were not keeping a close eye on them. Somehow our society including me has learned to blame the parents for anything bad that ever happens, first we blame the offenders parents and then the victims. That father never taught that boy to respect women, that mother never taught that girl how to dress appropriately. If the parents wouldn't feed him like that he/she wouldn't look like that.
In all this we forget one aspect, We are not perfect. Have I screwed up as a parent at times, yeah I know I have. Does this dismiss all the good I have done? Of course not!. So why do these standards not apply to other parents. I have come to the realization that we as parents do the best we can with the resources that are available to us at the time. I was listening to a story about a child that was abducted while the mother was at work. She had left 3 young children home alone. Do I blame the mother? No. She did what she felt she had to do. She couldn't afford to not work, they needed the money, she couldn't afford a babysitter. Maybe she had done this many times before. Was it right that she did this? I don't know I want to say no, but again she did the best she cold with the resources available.
If I were to be blamed for all the things my children fail at then it's my fault they don't do their homework, it's my fault my daughter steals clothes and sometimes money form her sister, it's my fault that one daughter broke another one fingers. Do I feel guilty for all these things, yes I do. But I understand that they have choices to make. I have done what I felt necessary. I have tried to teach them to respect each other, how homework helps affirm concepts and that violence is not the answer. Parents are not the cause of EVERYTHING!
All in all we must remember of our perfect Father in heaven who had two children that disobeyed in the Garden of Eden.
I have heard things on the news about children abducted and even if I on't think it there is always some commentary about well the parents were not keeping a close eye on them. Somehow our society including me has learned to blame the parents for anything bad that ever happens, first we blame the offenders parents and then the victims. That father never taught that boy to respect women, that mother never taught that girl how to dress appropriately. If the parents wouldn't feed him like that he/she wouldn't look like that.
In all this we forget one aspect, We are not perfect. Have I screwed up as a parent at times, yeah I know I have. Does this dismiss all the good I have done? Of course not!. So why do these standards not apply to other parents. I have come to the realization that we as parents do the best we can with the resources that are available to us at the time. I was listening to a story about a child that was abducted while the mother was at work. She had left 3 young children home alone. Do I blame the mother? No. She did what she felt she had to do. She couldn't afford to not work, they needed the money, she couldn't afford a babysitter. Maybe she had done this many times before. Was it right that she did this? I don't know I want to say no, but again she did the best she cold with the resources available.
If I were to be blamed for all the things my children fail at then it's my fault they don't do their homework, it's my fault my daughter steals clothes and sometimes money form her sister, it's my fault that one daughter broke another one fingers. Do I feel guilty for all these things, yes I do. But I understand that they have choices to make. I have done what I felt necessary. I have tried to teach them to respect each other, how homework helps affirm concepts and that violence is not the answer. Parents are not the cause of EVERYTHING!
All in all we must remember of our perfect Father in heaven who had two children that disobeyed in the Garden of Eden.
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