First full day of not having an obligation. No grocery shopping no school, no meeting. Just a day to lay around and contemplate life... HA ha ha, as if. Well today I will get to all those things I've ben putting off. I want to Finish the final touches of cleaning my room, I want to mop the floor, I want to clean the back yard. Too much to just lay back and do nothing.
I feel obligated to do these things. If I don't I feel like I have wasted my day and time. I have this over whelming guilt about being the perfect homemaker. I know that I am far from it. But I feel guilty when i don't cook or when the house is a mess. At the same time i feel very accomplished when I have dinner ready and the house smells of cleaning product. And I expect everyone else to notice and say "Ahh mom the house looks beautiful. I know how you slave over it and I want to say thank you"
And now the child says to me "I feel sick" I say go to school, she says "but I don't feel well. "
NO! I am not going to ruin my first day of nothing by having to play maid to a kid! She starts to cry not because she is ill but because I did not give her the response she wanted. UGH!
There wil be a point when all the guilt will go away. When I am no longer responsible for their choices. But for now I will continue the madness.
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